Its 8.20am, I have been up since 7.20am. Since I have been born, I, like others look forward to the weekend, in the first instance it’s the lye in I think you’ll agree – NOT ME. Lye in, what that’s? Once awake there is no going back, I am immediately thinking my new alert state is going to wake my sleeping princess, so I’m up! Its routine now, up, switch on the laptop and read my weekly newsletter from a chap called Leo Notenboom, a very informative read about problem solving IT issues. Weel I find interesting, I couldn't give a fat elephants fanny what you think!

Next is to guzzle copious amounts of water, re-hydrating myself in preparation for my 2pm game of football at Tythy High School. And then a wank on the sofa. Joking!!!

Last night I met up with Rylan Lea and Barry Bristletooth in the Brewers, 2 top lads, we never fail to have a laugh with those two. Then went to Porters, my favourite pub, hosted by my favourite landlady Cat, hello Cat!…. and favourite bar maid Annie…..hello Annie. Had one in Kusch, to The Balti Kitchen and a taxi home to see my super model monkey princess before I am pissed out of my pants!!

Not to sure what I’m up to this weekend, weather always, always plays a part and an annoying one at that, but I’m sure with my new found diary that float’s around the ether for everyone to read I’ll be able to let you know.

……WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO KNOW WHAT I’VE BEEN UP TO! LOL!!